Top 5 most heartbreaking kangas

“Ya mahaba ndweo maradhi upeo.”

The intoxication of love is the ultimate disease. -Swahili proverb

Ever suffered from a broken heart? A jealous heart? A heart haunted by insecurity? An unrequited love? A heart obsessed with the impossible? Chances are there’s probably a perfect Swahili proverb inscribed on a dizzyingly gorgeous kanga cloth for you. Love and heartache are stitched into the fabric of everyday life through the ubiquitous kanga, that square-shaped cloth sold as doti (pairs) all over East Africa and worn by women and girls everywhere.

It’s impossible to travel or live in East Africa without at least noticing kangas, if not eventually incorporating them into your daily life. But unless you understand deep Swahili, it’s easy to miss the clever and charming majina (names) or methali (proverbs) inscribed at the bottom of each kanga cloth. In fact, it’s the writing that makes the kanga unique, differentiating it from other vibrant textiles like the kitenge or kikoi.

Many kanga proverbs are known for their mafumbo (ambiguity), often leaving the reader puzzling over its multiple meanings as she wraps herself in its message. Kanga, usually exchanged as gifts between women, have the power to strengthen or destroy a relationship, depending on the particularities of meaning and context. That’s because the kanga says everything that can’t be said out loud.

In a culture that prides itself on extreme politeness and respect, the kanga confronts taboos that can’t be addressed – jealousy, sex, disappointment, luck, love, lies, passion, and death. The kanga is the ultimate public billboard for personal feelings.

Never out of fashion or season, thousand of kanga designs and messages are produced on a weekly basis, hailing from kanga factories as close by as Urafiki Textiles in Dar es Salaam, Tanzania or as far away as Chavda Textiles in Mumbai, India. Ranging in cotton-density quality and design creativity, kanga-buying always involves a careful consideration of text and image.

Sometimes you’ll find a potent message with a seemingly innocuous pattern, or a bombastic pattern with a bland message. Finding the right balance is part of the joy of kanga hunting. If you’re deep into Swahili culture, you’d never purchase the kanga for its design alone – the significance of the kanga lies in its poetry. This month, I set out to search for some of the most heartbreaking (and heartbreakingly beautiful) kangas of the season. It was hard to choose because there are so many good ones and new designs appear weekly in the markets. I tried, then, to choose kangas that are equally compelling to read and wear. Here are my picks for the top five most heart-breaking Zanzibari kangas of the 2011 spring season (and a bit of unsolicited interpretation for the weary-hearted):

1. KIPI CHA KUNGANGANIA HAKUTAKI TIMUA / WHAT ARE YOU CLINGING TO HIM FOR? HE DOESN’T WANT YOU! LEAVE HIM!

The “Run Away Fast” kanga. Its jina (name) alone is heartbreaking, but so is the beautiful pattern that evokes the feeling of love itself as a labyrinth of confusion. Unrequited love can definitely feel like walking in circles through a blue-polka dotted sequence of despair! This kanga message is a wake-up call to the woman who clings to the lover who is so clearly just “not that into her.” It sort of begs the Janet Jackson question, “what has he done for you lately?”

Think about it: how many of us have stayed with loves that disappoint? This kind of relationship can only lead to humiliation and self-deprecation, but it’s easy to fool yourself into thinking that people change. The faster you can timua (run away – dash off – leave), the better.

The trick is discerning motivation when giving or receiving a kanga like this. Are you trying to help out a friend who is really in a bad situation? Or are you trying to plant a seed of doubt because you have an eye on her sweetie?

WEDDING-GIFT FRIENDLY? No. This would definitely not be appropriate as a gift for a Zanzibari bride!

2. JAPO SIPENDEZI KUBEMBELEZI SIWEZI/ EVEN THOUGH I’M NOT BEAUTIFUL, TO BEG, I CAN’T

This is the “Beauty Isn’t Everything” kanga - the kanga that says, listen, I may not be beautiful, but that doesn’t mean I have to degrade myself trying to get your attention. I'm still a beautiful person, I respect myself, I have choices.

With its subtle but elegant brown and black furry flowers, this kanga calls for dignity, self-worth, and the confidence you need to turn down an offer just because you feel like you can’t do any better.

The central design, horizontal zig-zags, sort of invokes a “don’t mess with me” frequency – like lifelines beeping up and down on one of those life-support machines. There’s a sweet play between zigzag balance and floral border beauty. The kanga itself is kind of ugly in a beautiful way.

Again, depending on context and circumstance, the giver or receiver might use this kanga as an opportunity to boost one’s spirits, comment on a current courtship, or judge someone’s appearance, behaviour, or desirability.

WEDDING-GIFT FRIENDLY? No way. Not a good idea to give this one to a Zanzibari bride, no matter how pretty its pattern.

3. NIPENDE KWA NIA NIPATE KUTULIA/ LOVE ME SO THAT I CAN RELAX

The “Love Me Already!” kanga. This kanga is a heart-breaking plea with the universe to love and be loved. It’s the kanga that says, love me already so I can relax. How many of us have wondered when and if we’ll experience the calm of a strong, steady partnership? This is the kanga that sings the lonely heart’s song.

I love this kanga for both its design and its message. The kanga itself seems to be crying hot-pink tears of anxious desire. The border is like that low-lying background static in the halls of the searcher’s heart.

Like all kangas, though, you can read the message in different ways. If someone has already found a new sweet heart or life partner, the kanga can actually be given as a gift of congratulations or cheers.

WEDDING-GIFT FRIENDLY? Yes! Actually, this was recommended to me by a kanga merchant as a good kanga for a new bride.

4. YARABI TUPE SALAMA TUISIHI KWA KUPENDANA / GOD GIVE US PEACE TO LIVE IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER

The “God Help Us” kanga. Anybody who has ever tried living with her love knows that it’s not all bliss and roses. When a relationship is new and going well, you’re living in love’s castle. When things start to crinkle at the edges, you start to feel like you’re in love’s crumbling clocktower, and all you can hear is your relationship’s end-time ticking.

That’s why this kanga is perfect for anyone who has ever struggled to live with someone they love, or is prehaps preparing to live with her betrothed for the first time.

The kanga, dotted with sunny patterned circles, is like house-warming love confetti.

WEDDING-GIFT FRIENDLY? Actually, yes! This is another good one for a new bride who, at least in Zanzibar, is probably on her way to living at her husband’s home for the first time. It’s a blessing, it’s a prayer, that the transition into the love-nest will go smoothly with God’s help, Inshallah!

5. WACHE WASEME / LET THEM TALK

Last but not least, the “Just Try To Talk About Me” kanga. This kanga is a classic for its elusiveness and flexibility. Its proverb, “let them talk” actually comes from the lyrics of a very famous eponymous taarab song performed by the original matriarch of taarab, Siti Binti Sadi, with the Ikhwani Safaa Music Group, founded in 1909 under the initial influence of then-Sultan of Zanzibar, Seyyid Barghash Bin Said. Over a hundred years old, the music and lyrics of Ikhwani Safaa continues to weave its way into contemporary speech and folk philosophy.

“Wache Waseme” are lines that comes from a longer sentiment that goes:

Wache waseme/ sina budi nawe

Sihofu lawama/sababu ya wewe

Ungekuwa nyoka/radhi uniume

Seuze tausi/ wache walalme

Ungekuwa nyoka/sumu yako dawa

Damu husafika/maradhi hupoa

Uzuii hakika/wewe umepewa

Siwezi kukuepuka/liwe litokuwa.

In translation, that means:

Let them talk/ I don’t have to be with you

I’m not afraid of blame/ because of you

If you were a snake/ it’d be your pleasure to hurt me

Even the peacock/ let them complain

If you were a snake/ your poison is medicine

Blood cleanses/ the disease is cured

Abandonment is certain/ you’ve been given

I can’t avoid you/ that’s just the way it is.

Although the proverb itself doesn’t address love or heartache directly, its association with this popular song immediately tugs at the nagging presence of gossip within Swahili culture.

Gossip anywhere is a social disease. Here on the small island of Zanzibar, mind-games sparked by unrequited love get so outrageous and intricate that it often transcends into the realm of high art. Paranoia is a familiar state of being, especially when it comes to romance and relationships.

People talk. Churn rumours. Stir sizzling secrets. And while some of it may be true, a lot of it is just for the thrill of gossip itself as a form of entertainment. So, if you live here long enough, you come to know and use the handy phrase “wache waseme” as a reflex, something you pull out of your emotional back pocket to help shake off the paranoia or pain. Let them talk, I know the truth.

And my runner-up for kanga heartbreak: HAKUNA CHA PEKE YAKO – THERE ISN’T JUST YOU. This kanga is out in the markets right now in paisley, either black and white or red and white. The buoyant pattern betrays its stinging message. This is the kanga that burrows a seed of doubt into one’s heart, leaving you to wonder if your loyal, monogamous relationship might be a hoax.

It’s a terrible message for someone who might already wonder if infidelity is an issue. And depending on how the kanga is exchanged, the message can truly derail one’s sense of security and well-being in the world, throwing up questions of trust and honesty that fall back down as fragments of a shattered heart.